The Intense Attention of Mindfulness

I just finished a great book, “The Curse of Chalion”, that was not only a great read in the “speculative fiction” (fantasy) genre, but had a lot of bonus spiritual insights. The following quote is one of those.

Cazaril’s attention was arrested by a pebble that lay on the pavement near his knee. It was so dense. So persistent. The gods could not lift so much as a feather, but he, a mere human, might pick up this ancient unchanging object and place it wherever he wished, even into his pocket. He wondered why he had never apprecaiated the stubborn fidelity of matter. A dried leaf lay nearby, even more stunning in its complexity. Matter invented so many forms, and then went on to generate beauty beyond itself, minds and souls rising up out of it like melody from an instrument … matter was an amazement to the gods. Matter remembered itself so very clearly. He could not think why he had failed to notice it before. His own shaking hand was a miracle, as was the fine metal sword in his belly, and the orange trees in the tubs–one was tipped over now, wonderfully fractured and spilling–and the tubs, and the birdsong starting in the morning, and the water–water! Five gods, water!–in the fountain, and the morning light filtering into the sky…

Cazaril ignored it all, taken up with his pebble again. He wondered where it had come from, how it had arrived there. What it had been before it was a pebble. A rock? A mountain? Where? For how many years? It filled his mind. And if a pebble could fill his mind, what might a mountain do? The gods held mountains in their minds, and all else besides, all at once. Everything, with the same attention he gave to one thing. He had seen that, through the Lady’s eyes. If it had endured for longer than that infinitesimal blink, he thought his soul would have burst. As it was he felt strangely stretched. Had that glimpse been a gift or just a careless chance?

This, to me, is a wonderful description of what “mindfulness” is supposed to be. Being intensely aware of a single thing, and not just of the thing, but of where it came from, what it affects … where does this one thing fit into the great web of interbeing? In meditation this is one of the reasons you might concentrate on your breath. It’s not just to feel yourself breathing, but to be intensely aware of the air moving in and out of your body. There are meditative exercises that make it feel like the universe is breathing you, instead of you breathing the air (and of course that might be how it works ;) ). When you do walking meditation, you relate to the earth beneath your feet in a much different way that you do when you are walking normally.

Of course, formal meditation is just the practice so that we can learn to live each moment that way, not just while on the cushion. We also practice so we can extend our awareness beyond the breath and beyond a single thing, on to all things.

Mindfulness of this sort reminds us that every thing, and every moment, is a miracle. Endeavor to take nothing for granted.


“The Curse of Chalion” (Lois McMaster Bujold)

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What’s Your Reason?

We all do things because we’ve always done them that way. Or maybe because that’s the way our parents did it when we were growing up. Seth Godin, on his blog, posted about some things we do today that are relics of some reason that’s now obsolete.

This reminds me of one of my favorite “make you think” stories:

A newly-wed couple was making their first dinner of roast beef together. The wife proceeded to take the roast and cut off one end before she put it into the oven. She wrapped the extra piece up and put it in the fridge. The husband asked why?

She said she didn’t know but that she’d always done it that way because her mother did it that way. The husband says, “that’s crazy, why would you cut off a perfectly good piece of meat and not cook it? Let’s call your mother and ask.”

So they call the wife’s mother. She says, “I don’t know why we cut the end of the roast off. I’ve always done it that way, because my mother always did it that way.”

So they call the wife’s grandmother. She says, “I don’t know why we cut the end of the roast off. I’ve always done it that way, because my mother always did it that way.”

Luckily, the wife’s great-grandmother is still alive. They call her in the nursing home and ask why, for generations, these families have cut the end of the roast beef off before cooking it. She says, “that’s simple. When I was cooking roasts, I didn’t have a big enough pan, so I cut off part of the roast so it would fit.”

One of the goals of mindfulness is to “look deeply” at everything. That includes looking at the reasons you do things. Next time you’re doing something (anything! everything!), look deeply at why you’re doing it, or why you are doing it in that way. You might just discover that you’re being controlled by people and justifications long gone. Make sure you have a reason for everything you do. Do you like those reasons?

Another Worthwhile blog: The Lazy Way to Success

I had a moment to catch up on some blog reading recently. One of the blogs that I subscribed to a while ago, but left unread was The Lazy way to Success. After catching up on his last 6 or 8 posts, I see that It’s a worthwhile read, so will read it regularly now. I don’t have time to comment on any of his individual posts right now, but I think you’ll find it a worthwhile read, so I’m putting it in my “Worthwhile Blogs” list (which you’ll find on the left side of my blog’s homepage)

The Dance of the Universe

Here’s testament to being able to find inspiration in unlikely places. I was listening to the Bob Edwards Show on a podcast (via Audible) and heard him talking with the author of a book called “Last Dance in Havana”

The author read an excerpt of the book that struck me as a description of how the universe might work. Perhaps we’re all a part of some greater action, some large-scale existence that we cannot possibly grasp or even know about, but still we’re an integral part of it. And more, each of our actions and non-actions are connected to everyone else and are a necessary part of the whole. Nothing is unimportant, everything matters and affects everything else. As Dan Millman says, “there are no ordinary moments.”

It’s not unlike how our own bodies work. Each cell has its own existence, it’s own job. But none of the individual cells has any idea of the larger concept: that it is part of a working whole we call the body. It takes all of the cells, working together, to create our body and our existence. Like that, maybe, our individual existences, along with the existence of everything else is creating something…

This notion was even mentioned, albeit tongue-in-cheek in “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, where the earth, and all of its inhabitants, is essentially a big computer. And it’s very much contained in Thich Nhat Hanh’s idea of Interbeing.

But if we cannot conceive of that which we contribute to, how does this have any effect on us? For me, it has these implications, which I try to put into practice:

  • Everything I do is important. Every moment is significant. There are no ordinary moments. Therefore, be mindful of every moment.
  • The roles we play are important to the larger whole. Therefore I should fill that role to the best of my ability.
  • Nothing I do is so significant that everything depends on it, nor is anything I do so insignificant that I should discount it. Therefore, I try not to be devastated when things seem to go wrong, nor do I become bored when I seem to be doing the “same old thing”, neither do I think myself so important when I have achieved something — just enjoy being a part of the interplay, whatever happens.
  • Everything is connected to everything else in some subtle, and not so subtle ways. Therefore, look deeply to see those connections, however slight: How is something that I’m doing now going to affect my family, my neighbor, someone half the world away, someone 100 years from now, etc.
  • We only exist for, and because of, our connection to other things (people, animals, plants, minerals … everything!). Therefore, seek to understand those connections and strengthen them.

Of course the book had nothing to do with any of this, but almost as proof of this concept it was in there. Here’s the excerpt:

Across the extent of this huge space, filling it to capacity and beyond, couples were dancing. But dancing does not begin to tell what they were doing. They were whipping, They were twirling. They were circling, diving beneath locked arms, embracing. They were bumping, grinding, releasing, spinning, caressing, all but making love. They were doing all those things in a dense crowd, somehow coordinating their moves so that whenever a man swung his partner toward a given point on the floor, the man or woman in the neighboring couple who was occupying that space somehow moved out of the way just in time, gracefully shifting into another space that a millisecond earlier had likewise been magically vacated.

At first it looked to me as if some higher intelligence were guiding the movements of each of these hundreds of people. But then, as I continued to watch, another metaphor took over. This was an exercise in massively parallel computation. Many minds, each solving its own bit of an otherwise unsolvable problem. No one genius could have attended to so many vital details so perfectly. This group movement was decentralized but coordinated, almost like flocking or schooling but not at all instinctive, not in the least bit unconscious. It was brilliantly human, and clever, both spontaneous and purposeful, and it was one of the most stirring and beautiful sights I have ever seen.


“Last Dance in Havana” (Eugene Robinson)

The Magic of “Every Day”

As I mentioned in a previous post (An Early Riser, me?), I do a set of activities every day. As I look at this paradigm of “Every Day”, at both the things I do every day, and the things I don’t, I realize that there is real magic in “Every Day.”

I’ve been getting up even earlier for the last week or two, at 4:30AM. But one night I didn’t get in bed until after 1AM. So I set the alarm for 5AM. I got up, but I was really tired!

I went into our “serenity room” to get started on my Morning of Mindfulness, and my mind kept saying things like, “You’re too tired, you could skip exercises today.”, “Skip the pushups.”, “You don’t have to play guitar.”, “You’ll fall asleep meditating, only do it for a few minutes.”

But I ignored all those suggestions and went through my routine, just as I do every day. The Morning of Mindfulness invigorated me and I went on to have a happy and high-energy day.

What I realized was that there was no decision to make: I always do these things, so I did them. Contrast that to things that I don’t do every day, but try to do “a few times a week”, like walking. Walking is probably the best form of exercise for general health, quality of life and longevity. I’d like to walk a lot, but I haven’t found a place to work it into my daily schedule. So I say that I’ll walk at least three times a week. But what ends up happening is that since I don’t have to walk on any given day, it leaves me open to saying, “today’s not the day, I’ll do it tomorrow.”

Even if it’s a perfunctory version of the thing I’m trying to do, just doing something every day will instill the habit. I read once that if you want to exercise and are having a hard time doing so, don’t make a pact with yourself to exercise, but only to get dressed to exercise. That is, if you want to go running, all you need to be sure you do is to don the shorts, put on the running shoes. If you do those things no matter what, then chances are you’ll go running too. For me, I think what I’ll do is do some sort of walk every day. Even if that’s around the block once, or even up the street and back. Chances are if I do that, I’ll want to continue doing it for a few more minutes. My goal is to walk 15 minutes a day.

The lesson, for me at least, is to figure out what is worthwhile to do, and to schedule a time to do those things every day.

Peaceful Warrior Workout

One of the things in my “Morning of Mindfulness” routine that I do every morning is the Peaceful Warrior Workout.

I learned this workout at a seminar I took with Dan Millman. It’s a series of exercises including stretching, qigong, and yoga moves that get me going in the morning. It’s not really possible for me teach you each step online, but here’s an overview.

The first half of the routine is done standing up. It stretches and exercises all parts of the body. The second half is done on the floor and I find does deeper stretches and exercises for the larger muscles.

Throughout the exercise routine, breath is important. Breathing should be conscious, and in through the nose. Breath work is an important aspect of the mind-body relationship that I’ll write about later.

To the Dan Millman routine, I’ve added some strength training exercises. I do push-ups and crunches on alternating days. In the beginning I tried to do both push-ups and crunches every day, but found that my muscles needed a day of rest in between. So now one day I’ll do crunches (currently I do 100 of them) and then the next day I’ll do pushups (30). If you do this every day like I have, you’ll be amazed at your progress. When I started, I could only do three pushups, now I can do more than thirty!

For crunches, I do 25 straight crunches, then 25 oblique crunches (lying on my back I put both my knees on the floor on one side) on each side, then 25 straight ones again. This works the whole abdominal area. Strengthening the trunk of your body is important for balance, your spine, and providing a strong core for the rest of your body to rely upon.

I also touch my toes in the beginning of the routine (partly to make sure I can still do it, but also to do some additional stretching.) And, in the middle of the routine, I add some leg extension semicircles that help a lot with balance.

The routine is designed to exercise your whole body so that if this is the only exercise you do, it’s enough. Dan says it can be done in under 4 minutes, and his original version can, if you hurry. But I don’t like to hurry, and I’ve set aside time to do this every day, so with my additions it takes me around 10 minutes. Can you spare 10 minutes a day to be physically fit? If not, drop the things I’ve added and do it in under 4 minutes. 4 minutes a day … you’ll feel better now, and your self in 10 or 20 or 30 years will thank you.

I also use the routine to get energy any time of day. If I hit an afternoon tired slump, I do the routine (not including the pushups or situps), and am energized! Much more healthful than a cup of coffee, for sure.

It used to be you had to take a seminar, or find a rare copy of a video tape that Dan created to see the workout in action, but I see that Dan has created a DVD with it. Samples are available on his web site. It’s also described in Dan’s book, Everyday Enlightenment.



The Peaceful Warrior Workout: A 45-Minute Instructional DVD

   

“Everyday Enlightenment : The Twelve Gateways to Personal Growth”

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Pay it Forward

I ran across a column by Tim McGuire that I thought would be worthwhile to share with you. In it, he exhorts people to make a positive difference in others’ lives without expecting anything in return. It’s the concept popularized by the book “Pay It Forward” (by Catherine Ryan Hyde), and subsequently the movie).

(Normally, I won’t recommend any books, movies, sites, or anything here without reading, seeing, or trying it myself. But in this case, the concept stands on its own from the book and movie. The Pay it Forward DVD is on my shelf, ready to be watched. I’ll report back when I do.)

I especially like the concept of giving significant, life changing, help. That is, holding the door for someone, or dropping some change in a hat isn’t enough. You really need to find a way to make a big difference in someone’s life, and not expect anything in return.

For many years at my current and previous jobs, I’ve mentored interns. Tim mentions that his son is an intern and is getting real value from his internship mentor. I can only hope that I’ve done the same for some of my interns.

And I’ll be on the lookout for more worthwhile things to do for people. Maybe you will be too…?

Take ‘you’ out of the equation and see what happens
by Tim McGuire

While Kevin Spacey is one of my favorite actors, I have never known him to be a philosopher. This quotation of his has been impossible to escape, since I read it on one of those quotation desk calendars: “If you’ve done well in whatever business you are in, you should spend at least half your time sending the elevator back down.”

“Sending the elevator back down” is a sensational image to illustrate our debt to young people and to people who have not achieved the success some of us have enjoyed. I hope I have sent the elevator back down with some of these columns that reflect my 30 years of mistakes and lessons in a corporate environment. When I teach at universities and in the seminars I conduct I am trying to use what I’ve experienced to help others.

One of my closest friends enjoyed a sensational newspaper career, but often it seems he relishes the successes of the people he mentored or tutored more than he appreciates his own accomplishments. When he brags on the accomplishments of “his people,” it is obvious “sending the elevator back down” is one of the great joys of his life. His wife is proud of what he’s done for other people, but I know she has raised her eyebrows more than once over his intensity in helping people get jobs, promotions and honors.

My youngest son is about to graduate from college and he’s doing his final “for credit” internship. He’s on top of the world because he has encountered a reporter and a producer at a TV station who do not regard him as a mere piece of meat passing through their halls. They not only value him, they are intent on teaching him.

Both men have counseled Jeff about his career and helped him with his audition tape even when it requires a lot of extra time. They have worked hard to make sure Jeff has a variety of assignments and learns everything he will need in the work world. Both those men know that “sending the elevator back down” is rewarding for them and for Jeff.

This whole concept is similar to the one set forth by Catherine Ryan Hyde, the author of the book “Pay it Forward,” which was later made into a movie starring Kevin Spacey. My e-mail friend, Karen Hoffman from St. Louis, whom I have written about before, is an ardent advocate of “Pay it Forward.”

She said Ryan Hyde “had an experience with her old car catching fire, late at night, in a high-crime area. Her car was saved by strangers in that area rushing toward her. (At first she wondered if they were coming to harm her) then they left before she could thank them.” Hoffman says that was the beginning of the concept behind “Pay it Forward.”

Hoffman wrote me this: “Tim, if the premise behind ‘Pay it Forward’ were embraced, in your lifetime you would choose to do three significant things to help someone else (more than a random act of kindness) and the people you helped could not do anything in return for you, but you request that they pay it forward to three people in their life …”

Hoffman wrote, “Think of the math on this…3 x 3 = 9x 3 =27 x 3 = 81 x 3 =-243 x 3 = 729 x 3 = 2187x 3 = 6561 x 3 = 19683 x 3 = 59,049 = 177, 147 x 3 = 531, 441 x 3 = 1,594, 323 x 3 = 4,782,969 x 3 = 14, 348, 907 x 3 = 43,046,721 etc.”

Both the math and the premise are staggering. In a “me-first” world the concept of truly changing other people’s lives with genuine kindness is not one that is easily embraced. Yet, think of what the concept could do just in your own workplace. An atmosphere that encouraged and accepted “sending the elevator back down” and “paying it forward” would create high-performance and spiritually rewarding workplaces, which could change American capitalism.

Dreaming can be good for the soul.

TIP FOR YOUR SEARCH: So much of the workplace is based on “If I do a good thing for her, she will repay me by doing X.” Think about how transforming it could be if you did nice things for other people with no expectation of being repaid or gaining some sort of advantage.

RESOURCE FOR YOUR SEARCH: “Pay It Forward” (Catherine Ryan Hyde)(Pocket, 2000)


“Pay It Forward” (Catherine Ryan Hyde)
   
“Pay It Forward” (Warner Home Video)

Update: I just ran across this very apropos quote:
“The point is not to pay back kindness but to pass it on.”
Julia Alvarez

Frugal vs. Cheapskate

Ok, I’m the first to admit that I’m a frugal person, and that I consider this to be a virtue. But sometimes I go too far and become a cheapskate. Being a cheapskate is not Worthwhile Living. Here’s an illustrative story:

Last summer we went to Water World, a water-oriented theme park, with lots of rides where you get wet on each one. A whole lot of fun. One of the great things about Water World is that you can bring your own picnic, so you don’t have to pay their prices for the greasy food they offer there.

Along with the several families we went with, we set up a picnic area; claiming a piece of grass on one of the lawns for our own. We’d leave our stuff there all day. But what to do with the keys to the car?

Here’s where the cheapskate (and maybe even the worrier) in me becomes apparent.

Waterworld has nice lockers to rent for 50 cents. Cheap! But they’re 50 cents each use. What if I needed to get in there more than once? Why, that’s a whole dollar! What about leaving the keys with the rest of our picnic stuff? NO way, I’d be worried that someone would take our stuff. And then I’d lose the key. How would I get home?!

So I elected to keep the key in the pocket of my bathing suit. I’d taken the key for the car off the ring and left the rest of the keys (to the house, etc.) in the car itself. So, I put a single key in my bathing suit pocket, closed the little velcro on the flap and hoped for the best.

Throughout the day, I checked to see if it was still there, and it was … up until after the last ride. Thereafter ensued a frantic search for the key. We never found it.

A friend had to bring me home to get a spare key, then drive me back. I finally got home with the car many hours later.

Then I had to replace the key. It’s not a normal key, but a transponder key. (A neat theft-preventing technology that makes it so only the right key will start the car even if the teeth on the key are correct.) So the key is expensive.

The key cost $300 at the dealer.
It cost $60 at a local locksmith.
It cost $15 at ebay.

I ended up getting a replacement key from ebay. That’s being frugal.

Through this episode, I’ve learned that there’s a difference between being frugal and being a cheapskate. To me, when the frugality begins to have a negative effect on my life, I’ve become a cheapskate.

Since making this discovery, I now take a mindful look when I’m being frugal to make sure I’m not going too far. Am I skimping in areas that diminish the joy of living? or are harmful to my health? or will cost me more in the long run? May be a good area of inquiry for you too…

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Sleep update

Since sleep hacking is a popular topic, here are some updates:
I have been waking up at 5AM for many months now. The last few weeks have introduced some challenges to that schedule. I have found that when I alter the routine, I don’t feel right. I tried sleeping late by an hour, and it threw me off balance for the rest of the day. I went to bed before I was tired, and slept horribly. For me, having a rhythm is apparently very important. That is, getting up at the same time every day seems to do the trick for me. One of the neat things is that I’m more productive, and have more energy, throughout the day with this schedule than I was when I was sleeping 2 hours more. Go figure!

So if a little sleep hacking works, what about a lot of it?

Steve Pavlina, who introduced me to the “how to be an early riser” thing, has been tinkering with his sleep and is now trying Polyphasic sleep. And a friend of mine is also trying it, or has he calls it, Sleeping Like Leonardo & Buckminster Fuller.

I can imagine having an extra 30 waking hours a week would be fantastic, but the system seems too extreme to me. I mean, sleeping only a few hours each day in naps spread over the whole day? It seems unnatural! No, it is unnatural. But maybe it works. I’ll let these two guys try it and see how they fare before I try it.

Being Thankful

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It’s a great tradition without religious overtones, with no obligations for presents. It’s just about family, friends, good food, and most importantly, about taking time to be thankful.

But you have to remember to be thankful. And not just for the luxuries or even the normal parts of your life… but just be thankful you are alive.

Anthony Robbins says, “For me, appreciation and gratitude are two of the most spiritual emotions, actively expressing through thoughts and actions.”

Here’s a story that Thich Naht Hanh likes to tell. It’s from his book “No Death, No Fear” (which I highly recommend to anyone who is facing or has gone through a loss).

Appreciating Earth

Suppose two astronauts go to the moon. When they arrive, they have an accident and find out that they have only enough oxygen for two days. There is no hope of someone coming from Earth in time to rescue them. They have only two days to live. If you asked them at that moment, “What is your deepest wish?” they would answer, “To be back home walking on the beautiful planet Earth.” That would be enough for them; they would not want anything else. They would not want to be the head of a large corporation, a big celebrity or president of the United States. They would not want anything except to be back on Earth — to be walking on Earth, enjoying every step, listening to the sounds of nature and holding the hand of their beloved while contemplating the moon.


We should live every day like people who have just been rescued from the moon. We are on Earth now, and we need to enjoy walking on this precious beautiful planet. The Zen master Lin Chi said, “The miracle is not to walk on water but to walk on the Earth.” I cherish that teaching. I enjoy just walking, even in busy places like airports and railway stations. In walking like that, with each step caressing our Mother Earth, we can inspire other people to do the same. We can enjoy every minute of our lives.

As Joni Mitchell said, “…you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”

In light of these teachings, today on Thanksgiving Day, or any day, or every day, I invite you to try this exercise for deepening your appreciation of things:

  • List out things you are thankful for. You could think up this list, or write it down. I recommend writing it down at least once. Set aside some time and really think about all the things you are thankful for. Your family, your friends, your job, your home … the fact that you can see and hear and taste and smell and touch, the sunrise, the sunset…anything and everything.
    Even if you just do this part, you will deepen your appreciation for the things in your life. But if you’re adventurous, continue on.
  • With each item (or maybe the top 5 or 10) close your eyes and imagine this item. Hold it in your mind and lovingly appreciate it. Really feel the joy of having it a part of your life.
  • Now, with the same item, imagine it gone. Perhaps the person died, or moved away; perhaps you became blind, or maybe you lose your job. Dwell for some moments in the feeling that the thing that you were just cherishing is now gone forever. Capture the feelings of loss.
  • Now, again with the same item, imagine you still have it: it’s back! Again, spend a moment cherishing that this item is in your life: really appreciate it. After the feelings of relief, you may feel that your appreciation for this item has deepened after imagining it was gone. Or you may see it in a totally different perspective.

The ultimate goal, of course, is to treat everything in your life this way. To cherish each person, each item, each moment. To be thankful for each and every thing. Don’t wait until they’re gone.

Happy Thanksgiving.